Having previously debunked love as panacea and the Golden Rule as hogwash, I will proceed to explain that humans are as breeds of dogs, and try to make you happy about it. This first step of cooperation may be the only way, outside eugenics, to rescue our faltering world.

My credential for this essay begins as a semi-feral kid living across a northern swath of American states who took behavioral and social cues from animals. Not surprisingly, I became a veterinarian daily walking for a few years lines of hundreds of kennels of cats and dogs and stalls with horses, cows and pigs. I left that calling to travel the world for a decade under a backpack studying and taking notes on the myriad aspects — toes to earlobes and the conduct — of the peoples in 96 countries. I specialized at once on either end of their bell curves thinking that once these border pieces were in place, the rest of the puzzle of humanity and solution to the world falls into place.

For example, I remember trailing in the streets of Maputo, Mozambique an albino black man I silently called Oxymoron until he noticed, stopped and confronted me. I explained forthrightly that I was interested in his anomalous color to which he intoned, 'Follow me.' We went straight to a laundromat where I met his lovely jet black wife and identical twin albino girls. 'The doctors tell me they are probably the only albino twins in this country,' the wife reported.

As certain as we are individuals, each type in the crayon box of humanity has varying capacities for physical and mental performance. White trash like me think slow as February molasses but are thorough, Mexicans talk rapidly as auctioneers, Orientals have heart and beehive minds, Indians bend and multiple faster, if only Jews could drop their Bible and climb as a superior race, Native Americans booze and brawl, and my favorite line on the football field is 'Did you ever try to catch a black guy.' These and other 'tribes' are the world orchestra sections of evolution.

Their symphony today offers the crash of egalitarianism, the belief in the equality of people. My experience is contrary, that different strains of humanity offer varying capabilities. In a sentence, a barnyard version of George Orwell's Animal Farm reads, 'All humans are equal but some are more equal than others'. This is the specificity of evolution. To embrace its truth is to take one giant step forward in your life as well as be entertained.

Suppose an egalitarian physician is called to set the broken toe of a man and instead goes out and breaks a toe each of nine other men, explaining that it will make them feel better. The study is written into the AMA journal and Congress passes a law that everyone must go about on crutches. That's where the world stands now.

Instead, go forth with compassion to look for the relative pluses and minuses of each race that bring greater vitality and color to life. By giving the next person the benefit of doubt when greeting him, you create opportunities that will not be available if you assume the worst in others and act like it. Oxymoron in Mozambique invited me to dinner after the laundromat which I politely accepted, and that led to mutual gain.

Pay attention to this truth, exert your will, and choose happiness for everyone.

Pamela Van Giessen adds:

Beautiful post. We are like dogs, and that is actually a good thing. I can not imagine a life with just one breed of dog any more than a life with just one sort of human.

Some dogs are flushers, some retrievers, some working, some herding, some are ratters, some are for sitting pretty on lovely ladies' laps. Each serves an important function. I do not always want them all but I admire all of them from Affenpinchers to Yorkies and everything between. Each has something amazing to offer though not all are great at all things. Just this weekend I was perusing my dog books, thinking about which breed would make a good companion for my Newfies as a personal trainer, and there was not a one that did not have wonderful strengths but also some shortcomings. I am leaning toward a Petite Basset Griffon Vendeen or a Brittany for the Newfs.

Bo has written a very wise thing. One can take it even further and recognize that you do not train all breeds the same way. Newfies demand training at a young age, but a soft touch. Rotties need a firmer hand. Pointers are super smart but can be skittish if not given purpose. Springers never stop moving, and Goldens are children well into adulthood. All are great if trained according to their disposition and strengths. But at the end of the day, Clumbers just won't do well in obedience competition, St. Bernards rarely excel in agility competition, and a Pomeranian isn't going to a pull a heavily weighted cart . No amount of training or work will ever overcome their physical limitations and DNA. I often gasp when I see people who insist on forcing an issue with a breed where success is most likely outside the realm of possibility and from which there is rarely a good outcome. If you want to excel in agility why wouldn't you get a dog that is physically appropriate for the task instead of forcing a square peg into a round hole?

Dylan Distasio comments:

In contrast to the previous replier that found the parent post a beautiful one, I found a lot of dangerous posturing bandied about with little scientific evidence for most of the assertions made, some borderline if not outright racial slurs, and an incredibly flawed analogy involving crutches. I may be at a disadvantage in this response, if the parent was actually a satirical post, but I have a hard time reading it that way.

I will also try to set aside my bias of disliking most dogs as pets versus work animals as I find their slavish devotion and dependence on their masters an undesirable trait. That, alas, is a topic for another post …

Bo wrote "These and other 'tribes' are the world orchestra sections of evolution" after opining on the traits of various races. Assuming for a moment these generalizations are true (which I don't in general), there are no allowances made for cultural versus genetic transmission of these traits ( i.e. meme versus gene). The word "evolution" carries a connotation of selection pressures on the gene pool. I am not aware of conclusive scientific evidence for any of these assertions.

Culture is a powerful transmission medium for changes. People cut loose from their historical culture who emigrate to the US develop a new one that is often strikingly different from that of their ancestors within a few generations.

The parent's lumping together of races with an enormously broad brush done with sloppy abandon. "Orientals" (who I am not sure enjoy this term for the most part these days) have a wide variety of cultural traits across tribal and state borders. I don't think a Korean or a Chinese person would appreciate being thrown into the same bucket as a Japanese one. The comment on the Native Americans is flat out derogatory and racist, nuff said on that one.

Would the parent also have us believe that the Jews have a special need for religion in their genes that is not present in the genes of other races?

And while I will grant that selection pressures may have created some physical differences in muscle type distributions across races in general, there are exceptions in every pool. I am not sure that there is even conclusive scientific evidence in this realm, but then again, I'm not up on my eugenics reading.

The assertions made about meaningful differences in intelligence across race is spurious at best, and destructive at worst especially considering the difficulties in defining and measuring intelligence in general.

We are also blessed with this gem "All humans are equal but some are more equal than others'. This is the specificity of evolution. To embrace it's truth is to take one giant step forward in your life as well as be entertained." I'm sure Orwell is rolling in his grave seeing a satire used to rally against the Stalinist corruption of socialism used to argue for the inequality of the races based on a eugenic argument.

The physician analogy is flawed and laughable. It left me speechless; I confess to being unable to elaborate on it.

As the parent closes, we get some mixed signals such as "By giving the next person the benefit of doubt when greeting him, you create opportunities that will not be available if you assume the worst in others and act like it." which sounds like a good idea that would argue for recognizing the individual not the stereotype the parent elaborated on earlier.

However, we are left with a closing that sounds like fascist propaganda "Pay attention to this truth, exert your will, and choose happiness for everyone." In other words, embrace a worldview based on perceived genetic differences of races based on broad stereotyping, and exert it on others.

I can almost see that the parent's intent was good here, it is a shame it's wrapped in a message of stereotype, abuse of the scientific method, and at times outright racism.


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