Dec

16

My gym features a fair proportion of middle-aged single women, who show three clinical diagnostic signs: big hair, thin body, and friendly eyes. Recently while on the pec-machine, I noticed one such lady kneeling over a weight bench; facing downward, using one arm to support herself while the other worked a barbell.

She was wearing the usual tight-fitting gym attire, and had remarkably large breasts given her slim physique; bent over as she was they almost reached the weight bench. When she stood up, they went from vertical to horizontal - a telltale sign: implants!

As a longtime fan of the unadulterated female form, these got me thinking globally. In the absence of cancer reconstruction, what is the allure of a bag of water (or silicone)? If you had one on the desk in front of you, it would be interesting but probably not arousing. Would it be as intriguing if implanted in your dog, or on top of your neighbor's head? No. Implanted beneath the female breast it intensifies the male>female sexual diamorphic attraction. But still…it is fake.

What about the unadulterated breast? Those who have studied and dissected them can tell you they are little mounds of mostly adipose tissue (fat), and milk glands, held together by a mesh of connective tissue (Cooper's ligament), with a pigmented exit nozzle. Analyzing these contents removed from their fanciful context elicits a different reaction than the familiar self-induced diversion to spiritual eternity.

This recalls the "suspension of disbelief" one performs when starting to read a work of fiction or watch a movie: You know it isn't real, but subconsciously tell yourself "in the interest of pleasure - just for now pretend it is real". Much of what we do contains such illusion, in order to create emotions of joy, romance, nostalgia, and love.

Toward the end of my work-out, I bumped into a guy I know in front of the women's locker room and joked "stay out of there!". I pointed at the big "W" on the door, "That means WARNING! Bright fluorescents and no illusion!".

In a round about way, breasts got me wondering about the phenomenal stock market rally since the near destruction of the financial system. How much of the recovery is due to the human desire to see goodness, hope, and eternal joy, even in handfuls of non-specific fat?


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6 Comments so far

  1. Jeff Watson on December 16, 2010 3:38 pm

    Although my agnostic and atheist friends will vehemently disagree with me, the sight of a beautiful, perfectly formed, non augmented, natural woman’s breast is definite proof of God’s existence. He wouldn’t have it any other way:) The face of Helen of Troy didn’t launch 1000 ships, her natural endowment did…..OK,I made that one up but you get the point.

  2. dave whitesel on December 17, 2010 6:58 pm

    “Those who have studied and dissected them can tell you they are little mounds of mostly adipose tissue (fat), and milk glands, held together by a mesh of connective tissue (Cooper’s ligament), with a pigmented exit nozzle. ”

    Had always liked you…but with this ,you just ruined so many positive views that help make life worth living.

  3. gpc31 on December 18, 2010 5:36 pm

    Ask the wasp why he tries to scr#w the orchid.

  4. Cherry Bomb on December 18, 2010 9:16 pm

    gpc31, are the terms wasp and orchid literal or metaphorical, and is the verb something you haven’t done in a long time?

  5. gpc31 on December 19, 2010 2:53 pm

    Cherry Bomb,
    Literal or metaphorical? The terms are literal and are employed metaphorically (or more precisely, analogically) in an attempt to answer the original question posed by Kim Zussman, “In the absence of cancer reconstruction, what is the allure of a bag of water (or silicone)?”

    There are species of orchids that are shaped like female wasps in order to trick males into polllinating them.

    File under “deception in nature” and draw your own conclusion. Cheers. I won’t comment on my home handyman skills.

  6. Cherry Bomb on December 19, 2010 8:17 pm

    gpc31, don’t you think that you could get your point across by stating your case in plain english, understandable by us uneducated hicks in the flyover states?

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