Oct

5

Certain (unmentionable) positions in my portfolio are starting to act like a runaway freight train. It therefore seems an opportune moment to consult my copy of The Worst Case Scenario for the correct methodology for "how to jump off a runaway train." (One notes the instructions do not mention the purchase of puts and put spreads.)

1. Move to the end of the last car.
2. If you have time, wait for the train to slow as it rounds a bend in the tracks.
3. Stuff blankets, clothing or seat cusions underneath your clothes.
4. Pick your landing spot before you jump. Avoid trees, bushes and of course rocks.
5. Get as low to the floor as possible, bending the knees, so you can leap away from the train.
6. Jump perpendicular, leaping as far away as you can.
7. Cover and protect your head with your hands and arms, and roll like a log when you land. Don't try to land on your feet, or you'll likely break your ankles and legs. Do NOT roll head over heels.

Vince Fulco jokes:

Come on Rocky. The ice floating in the punch bowl has just settled after getting a "perceived" refill which may, just may, overflow the bowl. This is when the Bernanke dance party really starts to pick up with the fast music. Earning ZIRP and saving is for the wallflowers. 

Scott Brooks comments:  

Rocky's mention of some stocks acting like a runaway train makes me think that it's time to review my very simple fool proof methodology for stock investing.

Take two pieces of paper, one green one red.

On the green sheet, put all stocks that are going to go up. On the red list put all the stocks that are going to go down.

Then, go long all the stocks on the green list, and short all the stocks on the red list.

Sell any green list stocks once they go on the red list and cover your red list shorts once any stock goes onto the green list.

Repeat this process early and often.

Enjoy your profits!

John Lamberg writes:

And I thought the secret to the stock market was to buy low and sell high. Similarly, in the casino the secret is to bet big when you are going to win. Unfortunately, I seem to buy high and sell low, and every time I bet big it seems the dealer gets blackjack, although occasionally I get blackjack too, but being a fool I take even money when that happens. 


Comments

Name

Email

Website

Speak your mind

2 Comments so far

  1. Gold: Manic Parabolic Blow Off Time « One Honest Man on October 5, 2010 8:14 pm

    […] Many people party on New Year’s Eve without worrying about how they feel on New Year’s Day.  But not Rocky! Rocky remains long gold, but he’s beginning to think about his ultimate exit strategy. Parachutes? Ejection seats? Hari Kari? Here’s his latest thinking (posted on the blog Daily Speculations): http://www.dailyspeculations.com/wordpress/?p=5344 […]

  2. Jeff Watson on October 6, 2010 8:08 am

    Rocky’s excellent advice will serve me well wen I go bust in the markets and are forced to ride the rails. In the excellent website, The Art of Manliness,” there is a gtrat article that applies directly to me. How to survive a shark attack. I’ve had several very close calls, and this article basically covers it all. http://tinyurl.com/3yxxoxk

    Incidentally, the “Art of Manliness” is one of the best men’s website on the net. It takes up where Esquire Magazine left off somewhere in the 60’s. With articles covering everything from proper grooming, manners, and dangerous adventures, this site is not one of those metrosexual “How To” books, it’s the real deal.
    http://artofmanliness.com/

    One can easily spend hours perusing this site, and I made it a must-read for my son.

Archives

Resources & Links

Search