Apr

8

Tiger wood's apologyI'd like to hear from readers of this site on the subject of apologies. We seem to be inundated by them from the sporting world to Wall Street and beyond.

Here's my question. If you're the one who has felt injured, then the other person simply saying, "I'm sorry" does not seem to ease your pain as much as, "I'm sorry, I was wrong." However, many attorneys will advise their clients to perhaps say you're sorry, but never admit wrongdoing, because that only invites the other party to seek damages from you.

Maybe the distinction is between disappointing people in your behavior who believed in your character where admitting you were wrong will not set you up for legal or other retaliation, whereas in instances where you actually did harm to or cheated others, admitting you did wrong might not be a good idea.

Here's my question. If you committed wrong either intentionally or unintentionally, when should and shouldn't you admit it?

My initial answer is that if you committed something intentionally and/or with malfeasance you really do owe it to the other person to admit you were wrong. If however you didn't do it intentionally or with harm in mind you can say, it was wrong (as Clinton admitted during the Monica Lewinsky situation).

in matters of the heart a formula I have discovered that works concerns the 4 H's and the 4 R's. What do you think?


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3 Comments so far

  1. Craig Bowles on April 9, 2010 5:56 am

    It’s just a sign of the times. I wish the govt would stop saying I’m sorry for being so poorly run and lead by example. The Swiss always minded their own business and led by example. The Middle East and Asia have strict laws that set a good example. Nobody ran around breaking car windows in Singapore or the old Iraq. Steal something in Iran, off with a finger or two, with no talking or sorry needed.

  2. Steve Leslie on April 9, 2010 9:15 am

    I have some very outspoken views on the matter of apologies.

    Briefly,

    I view apologies as nothing more than damage control. It is the most sophisticated form of salesmanship using magical keywords to convey a messaage. . In courtrooms it is an attempt for the convicted to recieve a lighter sentence.

    In civil proceedings it is used to control the costs of settlemnet.

    In the court of public opinion, it is used to restore a tainted image of a person.

    Of course the most obvious of this is the Tiger Woods saga. What exactly is he "apologizing" for and to whom?

    The great money manager Lazlo Birinyi taught me to observe people and not listen to merely what they are saying.

    I have some quotable quotes that i use. One is you cannot unscramble eggs, You can not put toothpaste back in the tube nor can you put the Genie back in the bottle after they are let out. In short, what is done is done.

    In substance abuse and domestic abuse cases we see this manifest.

    " I hit my wife because I was drunk" No you hit your wife and you were drunk at the time.

    " I lost my job so I got high" No you lost your job and then got high afterwards.

    "But I apoligize for any pain I caused" No you are looking for a way out of this mess so apologizing seems like the smartest course to take at this time. The words I am using were written by my publicist and approved by my attorney but I am trying to convince you that they are coming from inside my heart, so I can sell you through the performance.

    There is so more that i would like to comment about but my points have been made. If you wish to discuss this in greater detail look my up on facebook or call me on my cell 321-987-0456

  3. Steve Leslie on April 10, 2010 3:36 am

    With all due respect Mr. Bowles if you were a European Jew, I doubt you would have the same view of the Swiss. They have never minded their own business with respect to the billions stolen by the Nazi's, the fascists of WWII. Nor have they ever come clean with respect to the untold billions that tyrants, dictators such as Saddam Hussein parked in private vaults stolen from the Iraqi people. Be very careful as to whom you extol as virtuous.

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