Dec

29

Bad Parents, from Scott Brooks

December 29, 2009 |

Out of control, screaming children in a small confined area would make anyone lose his enjoyment of life.

Babies cry. Kids get fussy. We've all been either on a plane or in a restaurant when a family has a kid/baby that is fussing/crying. Even though none of us like it, I think we all understand it. Kids get fussy and babies cry.

But children running and screaming down the aisle of a plane is a sign of horrible parenting. The parents should have stopped it. The airline personnel should have stopped it or at least made the parents stop it.

The greatest work you will ever do is within the walls of your own home. That includes giving your children boundaries and discipline. There are very few things one can do that are worse than being a bad parent and robbing your children of the lifeskills necessary to function in a civilized society.

In my household, my kids are like 99% of all kids in this world. They argue. They fight and fuss. They occassionally don't tell the truth. They leave towels on the floor and make messes. But they do these things as the exception and not the rule. And when they do misbehave, all I have to do is either:

1. Give them "The Look"
2. Use my "Daddy Voice"

The reason for this is simple. I don't have to spank them… because they know I will. I don't have to ground them, because they know I will. I rarely have to punish them, because they know I will.

Sure they make all the mistakes (and more) that I've listed above, but in the end, all it takes is a reminder from Dad (via "The Look" or the "Daddy Voice") and they know that I mean business… and it's time to stop.

Being a good parent is not that hard. I'd say it's pretty easy. Just takes a little work in the beginning then it's pretty much cruise control from there (well, pretty much).

I have no respect for bad parents.


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2 Comments so far

  1. Nick Pribus on December 29, 2009 1:51 pm

    I beg to differ with Mr. Brook’s assertion that being a good parent is not that hard. Actually, being a bad parent is not that hard.
    My 7 year old daughter was yesterday playing quietly in her room with the next door neighbor child one minute and then next I checked was gone. She took it upon herself to go next door without a word which is of course against the rules. My office is in the downstairs and I didn’t hear her leave. Being a clever Daddy I figured out very quickly what was up, but nevertheless had to give both “the look” and the “Daddy voice” together which resulted in tears, a stamping of little feet, and a slammed door.
    And I agonized about it, was I too hard, was I unfair, did the punishment fit the crime, did she tell me and I wasn’t listening, am I wrong? With all the strength I could muster I went back to my office and stayed away, and 10 minutes pass there she is beside me throwing a note with little hearts all over it and in big multi-color crayon letters “I am sorry” on the desk beside me and retreating to the hallway with that tentative look.
    Being a good parent may not be that hard, but it’s harder than being a bad parent. Any fool can father a child, only a wise and patient man can be a good father, a bar set high and hard to clear but I make that leap of faith every day.

  2. Adam Sterling on December 30, 2009 12:52 pm

    "The greatest work you will ever do is within the walls of your own home."

    Thank you for this insightful reminder, simply, brilliantly expressed.

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