Feb

21

I was having a bad day in the markets. Depression, anxiety, frustration – all of the unproductive emotions were there. Aware of the signs, I stepped away from the screens and visited YouTube to listen to Queen’s Bohemian Rhapsody. (Why Queen? Not sure. Probably because it was a change from the usual Bach and Mozart.)

The laptop which I use for YouTube dropped its WiFi, and the streaming audio got stuck at the word, “scaramouch.” SCARAMOUCH, SCARAMOUCH, SCARAMOUCH. Over and over and over, just like an old stuck record player. At first it was amusing. But hitting the cancel key didn’t stop the ghastly word. SCARAMOUCH, SCARAMOUCH. Alt-Cntl-Delete didn’t work either. The WiFi connection had dropped, and Freddie Mercury’s usual dulcet voice had gone into an apparition-like infinite loop.

SCARAMOUCH, SCARAMOUCH. Holding the power-off button didn’t even make Freddie flinch! The insane economy and politicians, the dropping markets, the frozen computer, the noise, and SCARAMOUCH – were all too much to bear. It was the worst hour of the worst week of the worst month in recent memory.

In a climax of frustration and hostility, I picked up an empty can of Pringles Potato Chips and hurled it – as hard as I could – across the room towards the internet router. It hit the wall, bounced twice, and remarkably landed upright in front of the router’s antenna.

“Thunderbolt and lightening, very very frightening…Gallileo, Gallileo….” The song resumed. (Probably unrelated, but the S&P-500 caught a bid at the same moment.)

I thought of the song’s lyrics, “Is this the real life? Is this just fantasy?” because I realized that when I removed the Pringles can, the WiFi signal strength dropped. When I placed the can back in front of the router, the signal strength increased. After speaking with a computer expert, I discovered that the Pringles Principle is known phenomenon; the can behaves like a parabolic antenna amplifier and boosts the WiFi signal,

Good things can come from serendipity and self-reliance. Time to re-read some Ralph Waldo Emerson: "Trust thyself: every heart vibrates to that iron string…."


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6 Comments so far

  1. manuel bravochico on February 21, 2009 10:25 pm

    Not bad, I usually through telefones. That's another sign you need to get flat. PS, I could think of worse things to listen to than Maestro Freddie's vocals.

  2. Adam Sterling on February 22, 2009 4:31 pm

    Rafael Sabatini's thrilling action-adventure epic, Scaramouche, about the origins of the French revolution and the adventures of one of the greatest characters ever created for fiction opens with this line:

    "He was born with the gift of laughter and a sense that the world was mad."

    Aside from being appropriate to recent market events, this is surely among the most seductive opening lines ever written. The rest of Scaramouche, published in 1921, doesn't disappoint. The fencing scenes are without parallel in literature.

    Sabatini followed Scaramouche with Captain Blood, a book that deserves to be read by flashlight while hiding under the covers.

    Both are strongly recommended. In each case make sure you are getting the unabridged version, as the market is full of cheapened editions that omit the meat closest to the bone.

    Sabatini experienced some real-world tragedies that would make the personality of his favorite character a necessity for survival; the opening line of Scaramouche is the epitaph on his grave.

    A. Sterling

  3. david higgs on February 22, 2009 6:07 pm

    Why don't you email John Chamber of CSCO your little story, maybe they could incorporate a few cans of Pringles into their routers, they could use a boost to their bottom line… chips or no chips…

  4. George Parkanyi on February 22, 2009 8:03 pm

    … and don’t forget to notify Intel. They may be interested to know that a new chip company is in town, making throwable wi-fi and derivatives amplification technology.

  5. vic niederhoffer on February 23, 2009 2:02 am

    Let us give Mr. Humbert three cheers for his true humility, his verve, and his resilience. vic

  6. Stripey on February 24, 2009 1:21 am

    Why didn't you just turn the volume down?

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