Dec

14

Recent News, from George Parkanyi

December 14, 2008 |

ShoeDecember 14, 2008 - (Buleumberg News). This evening at a press conference in Iraq, an unidentified assailant threw two shoes at George Bush in rapid-fire succession, which the president nimbly avoided.

Given the lackadaisical Secret Service response - no agents dived to take a shoe for the president, nor returned fire with their own shoes - the breakdown in security was considered complete, and it is expected heads will roll.

It’s not yet clear what shoes were used in the attack, but according to Jane’s, Florsheims (which several experts have suggested they might be) are more of a long-range shoe, whereas the Gucci is favoured by NATO countries for short-range tactical operations (and mess parties). Nike’s may look scary, but they are mostly just rubber and canvas, and generally better suited for crowd control.

It’s not clear how the assailant acquired the shoes, or who financed them, but there’s been no shortage of shoes on the black market since the collapse of the old Soviet Union.

The anti-shoe lobby, born of the sordid Imelda Marcos years, is of course outraged, sparking worldwide demonstrations outside Italian embassies for better shoe-control.

The president had not yet revealed what he plans to do after he steps down in January, but the White House did acknowledge that dodgeball offers have started pouring in from across the country.

Dec/15/2008 03:52 GMT FR/23B

Nigel Davies remarks:

I was quite impressed with the Prez’s deft shoe avoidance and wonder how many other politicians would have shown similar dexterity. For example out of the last three Democratic Prez nominees I believe that only Obama would have shown a similar level of skill.

Dan Grossman agrees:

T JeffersonI agree with Nigel, Bush was very deft in dodging the shoes, with minimal movement, not flinching or making a big deal of it.

Raises the question, what President was the best athlete? Probably Bush 41, at least at time in office, because good athlete and relatively young. A runner and cyclist, undoubtedly an infinitely better golfer than Clinton (even though latter made such a big deal of it) and Eisenhower. But consider:

Bush 39 was a star baseball player at Yale, while Bush 41 only a cheerleader. Bush 39 a wartime fighter pilot, survivor of crash, parachuted on 70th birthday.

Kennedy a good athlete and golfer, although severe back problems.

Ford a star football player, so could well have been best of all, athletic reputation unfairly ruined by Chevy Chase.

Washington was best horseman in Virginia.

Jefferson rode horse for days to inauguration in Philadelphia or some such.

Don't know enough about 19th century presidents.


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7 Comments so far

  1. Anonymous on December 15, 2008 5:19 am

    One thing that is not mentioned in the shoe throwing is the way things were before the USA liberated Iraq.

    the reason that idiot could hurl the shoes at President Bush is because of the freedom he has because of the good old USA and the thousands of soldiers who have died guaranteeing such freedom and liberty. What would have happened to him if he had done that to Saddam Hussein? A brute squad would have rounded him and his family up, tortured, raped and ultimately killed everyone, man woman and children, their possessions looted and b their house burned to the ground assuming they even had one. There would also be a possible gassing of the community to prove a point.

    Presiden Bush and his administration has been properly criticized for some things but providing freedom to 24 million should not be one of them.

    One other thing domestically. 3000 people died in one day on 9-11 at the World Trade Center, the Pentagon and in Pennsylvania and it could have very easily have been 100,000 or more. This is one thing that I will never forget nor forgive and if we had to destroy a regime such as the Taliban in Afghanistan and in Iraq then so be it. I sleep much better knowing that 7 years later we have not had one major terror strike in the US.

    On December 7 1941 the United States was attacked at Pearl Harbor where thousands died in one day and one third of the pacific fleet was destroyed. This drew us into a 4 year War with the Axis powers, Germany and Japan. When we are attacked on a big scale we respond on a big scale. In my view, that is the way it is supposed to be

  2. Harry on December 15, 2008 10:34 am

    Your report leaves out the bio-fungus element of the attack; apparently, journalists do not change their shoes (or socks) too often.

  3. Steve Leslie on December 15, 2008 11:31 am

    I heard that the shoe thrower is a journalist from Sadr City and his company is demanding his release. DEMANDING! He was not even on the approved list of journalists to be there. If he had done this under US law, he would have committed a federal crime, tried and convicted and sent to a federal prison. In the old days, he would have been shot. Ironic that the country that has been liberated by George Bush now reviles him. In the 50's VP Nixon was spit on in South America and held his composure as an American Diplomat. As did President Bush. I know he has his problems and misgivings but so did others before him. I suspect once he leaves office and things cool off a bit he will be seen as a wonderful Ambassador like his father before him.

  4. Adam on December 15, 2008 7:25 pm

    Bush needs to take a page out of the Jean Chretien handbook and throw his shoes first. Preemptive strikes are the way to go in shoe fights. (see Shawinigan Handshake)

  5. Steve Leslie on December 15, 2008 10:16 pm

    Best athlete in his youth probably Gerald Ford football and golf. Eisenhower avid golfer. Complete man's man Theodore Roosevelt, hunter and outdoorsman.

    Reagan rode horses a lot.

    Worst, James Buchanan and Taft, both extremely overweight men.

    Actually Clinton jogged and played golf but allegedly did cheat at the game (imagine that).

    Carter liked to run. regularly and led a very clean life.

    Coolidge liked to fish a lot.

    Nixon a brutal poker player.

    It would be hard to discern athletic skills before Theodore Roosevelt because think about it there were no organized sports around at the time. Modern baseball began with Ruth, Cobb, Gehrig. No pro football until the 1950s and onward. College Football ruled from the mid 1920s and onward and only boxing and golf were contested on other levels. Basketball not really a big sport until the late 50s and 60s with Chamberlain and Russell and the Celtics.

  6. George Parkanyi on December 16, 2008 9:03 pm

    Adam,

    Under the terms of the PELT II treaty, all sides agreed that they would limit their footwear first-strike capability, and the US has always maintained as foreign policy not to launch the first shoe. (PELT II was ratified in the U.N. Security Council to halt the massive shoe-proliferation of the 1980’s (especially in the Philippines) and the strategy, if you want to call it that, of MAB (mutually assured bruising) that had the world gripped in fear at the time.)

    You can imagine then how stunned everyone was when Jean Chretien threw that shoe. Of all places, mild-mannered Canada launches the first shoe in anger? and against its own people? That was a dark day, and we don’t like to talk about it very much. I only mention it here for historical context, since you brought it up.

    :)

  7. Adam on December 17, 2008 10:52 pm

    George, Nice one.

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