In one of Patrick O'Brian's typically hilarious touches, in HMS Surprise, Maturin is on a rock collecting boobies with Nichols, before he is eaten by sharks due to despondency over his wife's infidelities and the typhoon. He tells Nichols about an Urdu English phrase book he is reading. "I believe it must have been compiled by a disappointed man." Here are some phrases:

My horse has been eaten by a tiger/leopard/bear.

All my money has been stolen.

I wish to speak to the collector.

The collector is dead sir.

I have been beaten by evil men.

I wish to hire a palanquin. There are no palanquins in this town sir.

Yet salacious too

Woman, wilt thou lie with me?

I immediately thought, what would a comparable phrase book be like for a trader entering the speculative arena? Perhaps it would include the following examples:

I have no money left. I lost everything when my stops were elected right before it turned.

The margin clerk is off duty sir, so it is not possible to delay getting your money.

The locals have given me a beating in the market.

I wish to enter a market order to sell. — There are no market orders possible sir. It's limit down.

There is 5000 bid ahead of you.

You are filled at your price, and I'm afraid it has continued down.

Yes, it went through your limit, but we're going to get them to take that price down.

Goldman against you on the offer 10000 to go.

It traded at that price, sir but there was a fat finger error and they're canceling all the trades at your price and below.

The Fed just acted and I'm afraid the market is very much against you.

I suggest you use stops next time on your orders, sir and that way your losses will be limited.

It did trade at that price, but your order was canceled at 5:30 due to computer bookkeeping.

Price hit a pivot point and immediately gapped 2% against you.

A domino effect was triggered and it went against you.

Sorry, that fill was for your brother not you.

They revised the previous months number against you, and I guess that 's considered more important now.

I'm afraid you were in over your head.

Your order was rejected by the compliance department.

You can't take money from your account until you get back to initial.

It was too late to cancel sir.

I am open to other appropriate items for such a phrase book.

Allen Gillespie adds:

We listened to the tape and it went against you.

Craig Mee writes:

Only in trading the Mib (Italian index futures) "yes sir, it opened higher than your sell level, but due to the mathematics of the opening print, nothing done"

I haven't quite worked that one out.

George Zachar adds:

It's a fast market. Nothing done.

Markets went subject just before your order. Nothing done.

That printed on globex. Your order went to the pit. Nothing done.

We don't show that expiry on our system.

That account is closeouts only.

Fed funds options? The local is in the toilet.

There is no market in that spread, sir.





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