Aug

7

Entries are now numbered below. We ask for your votes in the comments of this post.

Daily Speculations offer at 2,500 prize for the best lyrics for a song that captures the spirit of the endless and ephemeral movements of markets to Greek news over the past 6 months.

Here are past examples. Entries to be submitted by July 31.

Winner to be determined by popular vote.

I kept hearing this song overnight which inspired it: "It's Greece".

Thank you. Also, we'll have Kino and Jon Burr sing and play the song at the spec party September 5th.

1.

(sung to the tune of "The Major-General's Song")

I am the very model of a modern Brussels bureaucrat,
I've information technical, political and Eurostat.
When lunching with reporters I can sound just like a democrat
And dismiss any notions of a Continental coup d'etat.
I keep my Strasbourg mistress in a cozy little Neudorf flat,
(My wife could find it in the bills - I hope she doesn't think of that!)
I'm very well acquainted with the back seat of a limousine,
I never fail to have my way with any offered haute cuisine.

I'm veteran at promulgating regulations Byzantine,
Discretely lift my nose up to the mass of bourgeois philistine,
In short, in matters technical, political and Eurostat,
I am the very model of a modern Brussels bureaucrat.

Precisely I can calculate the solid waste municipal
Per capita for Capua, Montpellier and Dinkelsbühl.
So comprehensive was my last report on herb medicinals
That several of my colleagues thought my brilliance unforgiveable.
I'm called upon to explicate the latest fruit juice label scheme,
Then lecture on the trade gap between Luxembourg and Liechtenstein.
And then I'll do a scatterplot of Swedish satisfa-action,
Against the recent increase in French farmers' tractors' tra-action.

They wonder why I spend all day in study of parabolas,
Then I predict the future size of bathing suits in Malaga!
In short, in matters technical, political and Eurostat,
I am the very model of a modern Brussels bureaucrat.

When I can add my sister's husband's cousin and his son-in-law
To every second item on my monthly cash expense report,
When I can down my seventh glass of '08 Chateau Haut Brion
And still expound on Maastricht until half the room is comatose,
When I can differentiate a "bailout" from "austerity",
I'll also know the spread between employment and hilarity,
And when I know what's truly meant by "income inequality",
I'll know my income's getting close to where it really oughta be.

With all this Euro-knowledge in my brain where it's supposed to be,
I hope I don't get catatonic Euro-neuro-entropy,
But still in matters technical, political and Eurostat,
I am the very model of a modern Brussels Eurocrat.

from Alston Mabry

2.

I Dreamed a Dream (Fantine's song)

From Les Miserables (almost)
There was a time the EU was kind
When their voices were soft
And their words inviting
There was a time the Germans were blind
And Greece was a song
And the song was exciting
There was a time
Then it all went wrong
I dreamed a dream in time gone by
When the Euro was high
And life worth living
That Greece's dream would never die
I dreamed that the Germans would be forgiving
Then I was young and unafraid
And dreams were made and used and wasted
No margin call was to be paid
No song unsung
No wine untasted
But then the Greeks rebelled at night
With their voices loud as thunder
As the EU tore their hopes apart
As the markets turned my dreams to shame
They talked for days, they talked at night
They filled my days with endless wonder
They took the lying Greeks in stride
But all was gone when summer came
But I still dreamed they'd talk again
And we could trade for months together
But there are dreams that cannot be
And there are storms we cannot weather!
I had a dream my life would be
So different from this hell I'm living
So different now, from what it seemed
And Greece killed the dream I dreamed

from Gary Rogan

3.

Trade This Way
by Aerosmith (almost)

High risk lover never ready to cover
'Till I talked to my broker he say
He said, "You ain't seen noting
'Till you're out of margin
Then you're sure to be a-changin' your ways"
I met a cheerleader, was a real news reader
All the times I can reminisce
Ah the best shorts lovin'
With her sister and her cousin
Started with a little miss, like this
Markets swingin' with the news out of Greece
With the futures flyin' up in the air
Singin' hey diddle-diddle with the kitty in the middle
You be swingin' like you just didn't care
So I took a big chance that the Greeks will dance
With a frau who was ready to pay
Wasn't me that they were foolin'?
'Cause I knew what they were doin'
When they taught me how to trade this way
They told me to
"Trade this way, Trade this wayTrade this way, Trade this way
Trade this way, Trade this way
Trade this way, Trade this way"
Ah, just give me a kiss
Late night hustles they were meeting in Brussels
I remember I was betting on Greece
There was three young brokers at the airport locker
When I noticed they was lookin' at me
I was a market loser
Never once made a profit
Till the boys told me something I missed
That Greece had neighbour
Who also needed a favour
And the Germans will give'em a kiss, like this
Markets swingin' with the news out of Greece
With the futures flyin' up in the air
Singin' hey diddle-diddle with the kitty in the middle
You be swingin' like you just didn't care
So I took a big chance that the Greeks will dance
With a frau who was ready to pay
Wasn't me that they were foolin'?
'Cause I knew what they were doin'
When they taught me how to trade this way
They told me to
"Trade this way, Trade this wayTrade this way, Trade this way
Trade this way, Trade this way
Trade this way, Trade this way"
Ah, just give me a kiss

from Gary Rogan

4.

"Ain't Misbehavin'"

(In the style of Louis Armstrong)

No one to talk with, all by myself
No one to shop with, cause I'm happier to sell
Ain't misbehavin', Savin' my cash for you

I know for certain, the top is in
I'm through flirtin' with down side predictin’
Ain't misbehavin', Savin' my cash for you
Like Old Hussman in a corner
Not “perma-bear”, but I don't care
Low valuations, worth waitin' for, believe me

 Don't be TOO long here, don't stop to buy
Know I’m alone dear, me and my bearish pride
Ain't misbehavin', Savin' my cash for you.

Scoobededa doot diddlee doot doot

from Franklynn Phan

5.

(to the tune of Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious): 

"uberallymerkelisticgrexieurodoughshush"

It's uberallymerkelisticgrexieurodoughshush
Even though the thought of it is nothing like ferocious
If you trade it long enough, drool sideways bound neurosis
Uberallymerkelisticgrexieurodoughshush
 
Numb fiddle, fiddle fiddle, glum fiddle lie
Numb fiddle, fiddle fiddle, glum fiddle lie
Numb fiddle, fiddle fiddle, glum fiddle lie
Numb fiddle, fiddle fiddle, glum fiddle lie
 
Abuzz I was to trade the greek
Then just a simple fad
Thy market sent me up a creek
and sold me out twas sad
 
But when come May I burned a third
That graved forsaken close
The glibbest bird I never jeered
And hiss is how it blows, go
 
It's uberallymerkelisticgrexieurodoughshush
Even though the thought of it is nothing like ferocious
If you trade it long enough, drool sideways bound neurosis
Uberallymerkelisticgrexieurodoughshush
 
Numb fiddle, fiddle fiddle, glum fiddle lie
Numb fiddle, fiddle fiddle, glum fiddle lie
Numb fiddle, fiddle fiddle, glum fiddle lie
Numb fiddle, fiddle fiddle, glum fiddle lie
 
Greek raveled all abound and whirled
And derriere he spent
Greek 'buse his herd and all could bray
Share does a rarer cent
 
Then hoops and ouzoquaffage
alas the chime to pay writhe fee
Eye sway the speshill slurred
And then play mask-wee 'bout to pee
 
So uberallymerkelisticgrexieurodoughshush
Even though the thought of it is nothing like ferocious
If you trade it long enough, drool sideways bound neurosis
Uberallymerkelisticgrexieurodoughshush
 
Numb fiddle, fiddle fiddle, glum fiddle lie
Numb fiddle, fiddle fiddle, glum fiddle lie
 
So you can play it awkwards, which is doughshusheurogrexlisticmerkeallyrebu
But that's growing a wit too far, won't you wink?
 
So then the rat has shot your bung
There's no heed for delay
Dust coming up its blurred
And then move not a dot to play
 
But bettor ruse it warily
Or it could derange for strife
For example, jest, one night I fed it to a bar-girl
And now the bar-girl's my wife, oh, and a homely thing she's too
 
But
 
She's, uberallymerkelisticgrexieurodoughshush
Uberallymerkelisticgrexieurodoughshush
Uberallymerkelisticgrexieurodoughshush
Uberallymerkelisticgrexieurodoughshush

from Ken Drees

6.

Sung to the tune of "Rolling in the Deep" by Adele:

There's a crisis starting in my hinterland
Reaching a fever pitch, it's bringing me out the dark
Finally I can see you crystal clear
[Clean version:] Go 'head and sell me out and I'll lay your ship bare
[Explicit version:] Go 'head and sell me out and I'll lay your shit bare
See how I leave with every piece of you
Don't underestimate the things that I will do

There's a crisis starting in my hinterland
Reaching a fever pitch
And it's bringing me out the dark

The scars of your own failed loan remind me of us
They keep me thinking that we almost had it all
The scars of your own failed loan, they leave me breathless
I can't help feeling
We could have had it all
(You're gonna wish you never had lent me)
Rolling in the deep
(Ratings are gonna fall, rolling in the deep)
You had my mint inside of your hand
(You're gonna wish you never had lent me)
And you wagered it, to the limit
(Ratings are gonna fall, rolling in the deep)

Baby, I have no story to be told
But I've heard one on you
And I'm gonna make your cash burn
Think of me in the depths of your despair
Make a bank down there
As mine sure won't be repaired

(You're gonna wish you never had lent me)
The scars of your own failed loan remind me of us
(Stocks are gonna fall, rolling in the deep)
They keep me thinking that we almost had it all
(You're gonna wish you never had lent me)
The scars of your own failed loan, they leave me breathless
(Stocks are gonna fall, rolling in the deep)
I can't help feeling
We could have had it all
(You're gonna wish you never had lent me)
Rolling in the deep
(Bonds are gonna fall, rolling in the deep)
You had my mint inside of your hand
(You're gonna wish you never had lent me)
And you wagered it, to the limit
(Bonds are gonna fall, rolling in the deep)
We could have had it all
Rolling in the deep
You had my mint inside of your hand
But you wagered it, with no limiting

Throw your Euro through every open door (woah)
Count your Shillings to find what you look for (woah)
Turn my borrow into treasured gold (woah)
You've paid me back in kind and reaped just what you sowed (woah)
(You're gonna wish you never had lent me)
We could have had it all
(Metals are gonna fall, rolling in the deep)
We could have had it all
(You're gonna wish you never had lent me)
It all, it all, it all
(Metals are gonna fall, rolling in the deep)

We could have had it all
(You're gonna wish you never had lent me)
Rolling in the deep
(Currencies are gonna fall, rolling in the deep)
You had my mint inside of your hand
(You're gonna wish you never had lent me)
And you wagered it to the limit
(Currencies are gonna fall, rolling in the deep)

We could have had it all
(You're gonna wish you never had lent me)
Rolling in the deep
(Assets are gonna fall, rolling in the deep)
You had my mint inside of your hand
(You're gonna wish you never had lent me)

But you wagered it
You wagered it
You wagered it
You wagered it to the limit.

from anonymous

7.

(From Paint Your Wagon, "They Call the Wind Mariah"

Through unrest, we gave a name

To Pain and Hun and Liar,

The Pain is Debt, the Liar's Greece,

and we call the Hun Pariah.

Pariah throws the loans around

Then sends Hellene a-crying

Pariah makes accountin' sounds

Like mokes down here weren't trying.

Pariah, Pariah,

We call the Hun Pariah

Before I knew Pariah's name

And took to wealth enshrinin'

I took on debt and debt had me

And the Hun commenced his whinin'.

But then one day I left the whirl

And let it not define me

And now I’m lost, I’m oh so lost

No Gallic bawd can find me.

Pariah, Pariah,

They call the Hun Pariah

I hear they got a name for Pain

And Hun and Liar only

But when you’re broke and all alone

There ain’t no "yes" to "loan, please?"

Pariah, Pariah,

We call the Hun Pariah

Pariah, Pariah, - send a loan to me.

Now I’m a lost and lonely state

Without a fool to front me.

Pariah, float a loan to me

I need Bear-Stearns behind me

Pariah, Pariah

I’m loanless can’t you see

Pariah, O, Pariah

Please float a loan to me

Pariah, O, Pariah,

Please send a jubilee.

from anonymous

8.

To the tune "Baby Got Back" a.k.a "I like big butts"

The world: Oh my gosh, look at that plan.

That is the biggest plan I have ever seen. Like, who thinks that works?

Greece: I like the Euro and I cannot lie

All you other countries can't deny.

When you got a slim paycheck and a round figure in your face, you get sprung

Gonna show up all tough

Because you noticed everyone was gonna get stuffed

Deep pocket they be wearing

I'm hooked and I can't stop staring

Oh, baby I wanna get with ya

And take your selfie picture

Other countries tried to warn me

But that money you got

Make Me so over the top horney

Got my jacket of leather skin

You say you wanna have your money

Well you can't because we ain't that average groupy

I'm tired of all the liens

Landlords saying they want their things

Take the average Greek man and ask him that

He ain't gonna give that money back

Greece: So Fellas Other Euro countries:(yeah)

Greece: Fellas

Other euro countries:(yeah)

Greece:Has your country got the Euro?

Other Euro countries: (hell yeah!!)

Greece: Well spend it, spend it, spend it, spend it, spend that can do no wrong Euro.

Euro got my back.

from Hope Sears

9.

To the Tune of The Doobie Brothers’ Toulouse Street:

I’m running thru price levels like they couldn’t believe
Faces, they smile when I fall or flee
Poking my price just below the low, your stop was too tight again
I just might pass this way again
I just might pass this way again
I just might pass this way
I just might pass this way again

Overnight debates are hot, the markets whip and fly
2050 my oscillating center point, the prices trade on by
Lets start trading at the low then we’ll wrap up at the high again
I just might pass this way again
I just might pass this way again
I just might pass this way
I just might pass this way again

Locked in a room at the EuroSummit
Outside, Money’s flowing fast
Locked in a room over-at the EuroSummit
Outside, Money’s flowing fast

Overnight debates are hot, the markets whip and fly
2050 my oscillating center point, the prices trade on by
Locked in a room over-at the EuroSummit
Outside, Money’s flowing fast

(With the right imagination, lyrics needn’t be changed at all to hold relevance)

from Sam

10.

“Turn! Turn! Turn! (To Everything There Is a
Season)” written by Pete Seeger (or King Solomon if you will) and best
performed by the Byrds. As with Greece, as with so much in the world
and markets in general, there really is nothing new under the sun.

Ecclesiastes 1:15
What is crooked cannot be straightened;
what is lacking cannot be counted.

from Nick Pribus

11.

“Help!” By The Beatles

Help, I need somebody
Help, not just anybody
Help, you know I need someone, help

When I was younger (So much younger than) so much younger than today
(I never needed) I never needed anybody’s help in any way
(Now) But now these days are gone (These days are gone), I’m not so self assured
(I know I’ve found) Now I find I’ve changed my mind and opened up the doors

Help me if you can, I’m feeling down
And I do appreciate you being ’round
Help me get my feet back on the ground
Won’t you please, please help me

(Now) And now my life has changed in oh so many ways
(My independence) My independence seems to vanish in the haze
(But) But every now (Every now and then) and then I feel so insecure
(I know that I) I know that I just need you like I’ve never done before

Help me if you can, I’m feeling down
And I do appreciate you being ’round
Help me get my feet back on the ground
Won’t you please, please help me

When I was younger so much younger than today
I never needed anybody’s help in any way
(But) But now these days are gone (These days are gone), I’m not so self assured
(I know I’ve found) Now I find I’ve changed my mind and opened up the doors

Help me if you can, I’m feeling down
And I do appreciate you being round
Help me, get my feet back on the ground
Won’t you please, please help me, help me, help me, ooh

from Eric Wing

12.

Go Your Own Way - Fleetwood Mac

Loving you
Isn’t the right thing to do
How can I
ever go back to GRD?

If I could
Maybe I’d give you my vault
How can I
When there is nothing left to give

I can go my own way
go my own way
I can call it
grexit or graccident
I can go my own way
go my own way

Tell me why
Draghi won’t give me a dime
packing up
shacking up is all I wanna do

If I could
Schauble I’d give you my world
Line up
Everything’s waiting for you

I can go my own way
go my own way
I can call it
grexit or graccident
I can go my own way
go my own way

from George Papageorgakopoulos

13.

Go Your Own Way - Fleetwood Mac

Grease[Greece] is the word
By Barry Gibb (almost)

They solve their problems and they see the light
They gotta a trading thing, we gotta trade it right
There ain't no danger we can go too far
We know the score, the kind of traders we are
Greece is the word
We think their problems are a passing pain
Why don't they understand it's just a crying shame?
Their lips are lying, only real is real
We start believing that they we know what they feel
Greece is the word
Greece is the word, is the word that you heard
It's got groove, it's got meaning
Greece is the time, is the place, is the motion
Greece is the way we are feeling
We take the pressure and we throw away
Conventionality belongs to yesterdayThere is a chance that we can take it too far
But we believe it now the kind of traders we are
Greece is the word
Greece is the word, is the word that you heard
It's got groove, it's got meaning
Greece is the time, is the place, is the motion
Now, Greece is the way we are feeling
This is the life of collusion
Wrapped up in trouble, laced with confusion
What are we doing here?
We take pressure and we throw away
Conventionality belongs to yesterday
We're making money on the Bund, yes we are,
And Euro futures won't get too far

Greece is the word
Greece is the word, is the word that you heard
It's got groove, it's got meaning
Greece is the time, is the place, is the motion
Now, Greece is the way we are feelingGreece is the word, is the word that you
heard
It's got groove, it's got meaning
Greece is the time, is the place, is the motion
Now, Greece is the way we are feelingGreece is the word
Is the word
Is the word
Is the word

 
from Gary Rogan

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