Jul

18

LitchfieldYears ago I knew well a doctor who lived up in Litchfield County CT. It's surely one of the more picturesque areas in that part of the country, but since the general store was the social center of the town, not the easiest place around for a young (read: randy) woman such as she to stalk her prospective prey.

So she would troll the New York Magazine personals, arrange her NYC assignations, then invariably seek sanctuary in my Westside apartment when those evenings' proceedings would go awry. Apparently false advertising runs rampant in that game.

Not one to be easily dissuaded, she modified her tactics a bit by trading up to the presumably more princely personals found in The New York Review of Books. Of which, the Wikipedia profile pretty much says it all: "…Esquire has called it 'the premier literary-intellectual magazine in the English language." And, "…what Tom Wolfe has called 'the chief theoretical organ of radical chic'."

It's got lit cred.

According to the lady doc, though, its personals also had some of the most pedantic poseurs ever to slither down Riverside Drive. Turns out there is some sort of cluster of them up there in Morningside Heigths. Check out some of these cats. The self-descriptions read like the composite of a singles scene sociopath:

"…Contributes to the community, sits on boards…Very creative, but sadly no green thumb—buys plants and apologizes to them…Cambridge-based scholar, slim, pretty, fit, interested in tennis, travel, stargazing…thinks deeply, politically liberal…Interested in social change…Actively enjoys trekking in Nepal, tapas in Barcelona, snuggling at home, The Economist, Mozart sonatas…seeks arts-loving, progressive travel companion for Rockport, Napa, Machu Picchu, Paris…Especially interested in food, engaged in political action…Passionate brunette—long legs, slender good figure, classic features very Ava Gardner-esque, with irreverent and intellectual twist…Embraces life’s possibilities, insatiably curious about the world, calm, unafraid of fun, projects a whimsical, articulate sweetness…Willing, attuned, gives the moment her all. Drawn to history (European, Japanese, Russian), gestures of simple caring…Described as having depths…Without cliches…"

Alas, the lovely lass is married now — though not to the London metals trader I introduced her to. But back in the day (mid-80s-mid-90s), the office she worked at outside of New Haven was quite a well-stocked pond. Unless it was a total anomaly, it was where I learned that female doctors tend to be equally as forthright in their dealings with guys as they were straightforward in their studies. Nothing elliptical there on either count.

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