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True Stories by Steve Keely
Hobo Memoirs

 

20-Nov-2006
Butting Heads

Officer Bill McCarthy pounding his head and asking a suspect if he wanted to resist arrest puts me in mind of the time I did something like that and the policemen took me to the L.A. psych ward for a 3-day hold. Californians are crazy. There is a big nest of killer bees in the derelict house down from mine where my neighbor T.J. decided to assure they were killers.
“Don’t enter that place!’ warned T.J.
‘’Why?’’ I asked.
‘‘There’s a killer bee’s nest in the northeast corner.”
“How do you know?”
‘They chased Boy an’ me. Ask if you can find him.”
“Why?”
"Cuz we put the insides of a shotgun shell into their nest."
"No wonder they swarmed."
"No, they didn’t"
"Explain!" I started to twitch.
"We shot twice."
"Then…"
"…They flew at us."
"You ran for the buggy?"
"Only time I ever beat Boy in a footrace."
"I’ll peep," I said. Sure enough, but you can’t differentiate a killer until he attracts. I carefully slid my whiskers above the nest and dozens rose and butted me with their heads. This is a warning before the swarm, and I fled.

So, when it comes to butting heads, Officer McCarty, I think even you would meet resistance in California where society’s fruits and nuts eventually roll.

 

 

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